Love That Red

Everything You Need to Know

Girl on Girl

Some argue that there are many points of differentiation between men and women; some argue that it’s simply the great divide between the use of a penis and vagina.

The worst things about being a woman are as follows;

• Menstruation. Bleeding at a constant rate with the added luxuries of abdominal pain, pimples and sore boobs is on par with the idea that men have their balls tweezed constantly one week a month. Yeah Point Taken.

• Jelly – Not the desert. The wobbling. It is not ‘voluptuous ‘or ‘sexy’. We know men just say that to try to make us feel better. When our body parts wobble more than a drunk old man trying to cross a tightrope – we do not think it is sexy – we immediately tell anyone who will listen that we are starting a diet tomorrow which inevitably then gets pushed to the next day… the next……yeah never going to happen.

• Men have easier orgasms. Enough said.

The Best

• Our innate ability to multitask – men are simple creatures and find this process difficult.

• Breasts – Gay, straight whatever – everyone likes boobs and we have them. Benefit being that we can play with them and look at them as much as we please. Ha-ha sucks to be you boys! And the thought of looking and playing with hairy balls does not provoke jealousy. Sorry.

• Girls Nights – Having naked dance parties and drinking cocktails with the greatest gift – our girlfriends – the best ladies on the land.

• As females it is perfectly acceptable to hate beer, love shopping, despise sport and perv at a constant rate. Any of the above weakens men in our eyes.

• Women are much prettier creatures than men. Don’t believe me? The majority of women don’t have facial hair nor do we have an abundance of hair growing in other strange places; fistfuls in the pits, sprouts coming out of noses or broccoli puffs out of ears. Hair thick enough to braid on their legs and to put it elegantly gooch hair….

• Crying will give us what we want.

• Multiple orgasms. Enough Said.


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