Don’t Cross the King
King’s Cross has for a long time been known to most Australians as the drugs and red light capital of Australia. And after yet another night out in the notorious Kings Cross on Friday; I’ve come to the conclusion that as soon as you see THAT coke sign – morals sink as low as the place itself.
In the past three weeks I have been kicked out of no less than 10 clubs, table danced and had countless wet pussies (the shot that is). The strip clubs, topless waitresses, adult bookshops and tacky nightclubs are just part of the atmosphere.The energy, the fashion, the drugs and the versatility is what makes people continue to come back for more nights best left in a blurry memory.
Trannies in Peep – Toes, Lady Gaga lookalikes and loser dead-shits AKA CHIC CHIC BOOM is just some of the variety of people you are guaranteed to see. You are also likely to see loser 18 year olds; the girls lying in a gutter due to their inability to know their limits or a ‘tough as ‘guy attempting to start a fight.
This past Friday was no exception to any of my generalizations about the looseness of a night at the Cross. Me and Ashley had a great time; as per always with her.
The following events were just part of our evening.
• Ashley managing to hold a train into the city by sticking one leg in and holding one leg on the platform.
• I pretended to be French and greeted everyone with ‘ Je m’appelle Kelly’.
• Handing out my business cards – thinking I was being professional until I realised guys thought I was
just offering my number…whoops
• Table dancing at paramount.
• Slipping special add-ins into our orange juice in the toilets (Thank god for the hip flask)
• Making friends with some annoying Americans who proceeded to buy us a few rounds.
• Dragging Ash home, her shoes in one hand and then cuddling up with naughty food.
In MY Opinion
The best places to go out in the Cross are;
1) Trademark – Celebrity spotting, luxury setting and delicious drinks.
2) Hugo’s – Cheap cocktails and a nice space.
3) Soho – So trashy but the music is good and girls always get free entry!
4) Eye Bar – Gross place but amazing $3.50 shots. Say hello to Smiley.
5) World Bar – Tea-Cup’s – Enough said.
6) Moulin Rouge – Great for Dancing
So have fun while you’re out and about but don’t try to Cross the King it will simply cause you to fall on your rump.