Love That Red

Everything You Need to Know

What the f***!

It’s funny how much we just accept things without thinking about them………………………………….

Most people consume milk every day; on cereal, in a coffee; a yogurt or in a cream based sauce. Think about it though; who was the first person to actually look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”? Seriously…the person in question was probably into some pretty freaky shit, suckling on the nipples as a form of bestiality is one thought that crosses my dirty mind, but what could possibly be another explanation?

It’s actually really weird when people use the expression, “I’m so tired it’s not even funny” or “my head hurts so much it’s not even funny”, why would it even be funny in the first place? Who laughs when they have a headache?

Jokes regarding our spouse’s mother have been around since the beginning of time but have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler? Interesting………………..

Exposed to over 2000 forms of advertising per day, the average media consumer will most surely see an ad that promises a free gift with purchase or ‘call now to receive a free gift’. Why do they include free? Since when has a gift NOT been free? I would dread my birthday if I knew my gifts came at an actual cost.

When someone uses the phrase “well it goes without saying, but”. If something “goes without saying,” why do people still say it?

At restaurants I am prime culprit of changing the menu. In other words I am one of those annoying people who ask for something “without this, this and this but with extra of this” You get charged extra for the add-on but they don’t lower the price for all the items I have taken off!

The fact that they call small chocolate bars the “fun sizes”? There’s nothing fun about them! They are gone in one bite! Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a big one?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? The rate of mortality would be much lower in plane crashes if those on board could jump when they knew it was going to crash rather than risking death from impact for a floaty.

Ever noticed how the lady down the street was murdered but Abraham Lincoln was assassinated? Are they not the same thing? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

One of my pet hates – the “Baby on Board”. Just what is the “Baby On Board” sign for? Does it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

Since there is a rule that states “I” before “e” except after “c”, wouldn’t “science” be spelled wrong?

Everyone likes popping bubble wrap – no matter you age. Question – How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?

Ponder away!


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