Love That Red

Everything You Need to Know

Bite Me

The five reasons why today’s female society is so obsessed with all things vampire.

1. Vampires don’t weaken, get frail or die. Most people without any strong form of religion love the idea of immortality and wish it upon themselves. With no expectations of the afterlife, the idea of eternal immortality awakens a need in a person’s subconscious. The average person also fears the process of frailty and the weakening of the body, the idea that we get frail as time goes by is a sign of loss of control – and in today’s society – control is everything.

Simple Term: The inevitable for humans – death. For vamps – hell no!

2. Vampires live above the complexities of the average human life; they are prefect and human life is a relentless pursue to strive to the false inhabitation of perfection. Vampires don’t get the icky mundane daily occurrences that humans do; passing wind, eating, expelling food and water etc

Simple Term: Never having diarrhoea or getting sick.

3. In the superficial nature of the world and society today; billions of dollars are spent per year on anti aging products and services. The fact that Vampires are frozen in the prime of their beauty makes them the envy of women all over the world. Who wouldn’t want to have smooth, flawless, blemish free skin forever?

Simple Term: Smooth, wrinkle free, flawless skin? Yes please!

4. With centuries of practice – vampires would be way better than the average man in bed, with in-human speed, strength and power they full-fill every woman’s fantasy of the ultimate indulgence in submission.

Simple Term: Yes Yes YES

5. When it comes down to it, who wouldn’t want intense, passionate, can’t-live-without-you love?
We all secretly want to be needed more than we need and the vampire notion fills that void perfectly.

Simple Term: Women Love Love

Bill Compton and Edward Cullen have set the bar pretty damn high in terms of what they would do for their loves

Have fun trying to reach that bar gentlemen.


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2 thoughts on “Bite Me

  1. Also Dom on said:

    1. agreed.
    2. agreed, but they do have to put up with the hassle of killing / drinking blood / turning others (if they don’t, their energy drains quite rapidly)

    3,4 & 5 however…
    Shenanigans on these “vampires”. Those glorified sparkly things that look like they’re on an episode of Dante’s Cove?
    Not vampires. No way.
    Vampires aren’t Mills & Boon characters.
    Vampires are cursed, ugly & scary.
    Buffy had okay vampires,
    Shadow of the Vampire (2000) was even better,
    “Let The Right One In” (2008) was even better than that (in fact, there’s a hollywood remake coming soon called “Let Me In”).
    But the one perfect rendition of an true vampire was Count Orlock from Nosferatu (1922).

    … so i need to get a life, so what?

    • kellyleemccarren on said:

      Hire a personal trainer! I am not kidding they are expensive but they teach your bum how to work properly and rid itself of the wobble. After only a few weeks of PT my bum was twice as pert and lump free!

      Also the pill causes cellulite so if you are on it GET OFF!! he-he

      And the usual boring stuff….AKA drink a shitload of water and scrub with a loofah.

      Hope this helps!

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