In a world saturated by sex it’s no wonder that the actual act of sex is suffering as a consequence.
Sex is everywhere.
It’s on the side of a bus as you walk down the street, it fills the pages of magazines and its next door as the neighbors competes for the sex Olympics.
Why is the world so obsessed with sex?
50 years ago sex was a taboo topic – it was never referenced to in any form of media and was strictly a conversation point between husband and wife (who had both been each other’s first on their honey-moon night).
I can’t help but wonder, was there sex life better as a result of this?
In today’s society sex is everywhere; gone are days when sex scenes in movies were classed to the X and occasionally R rated films, Jesus even PG films allude to it now. And in M plus rated films – forget allude we are shown footage of women’s faces moaning in ecstasy as a man simply touches her foot, they then go on to have perfect sex with their perfect bodies, their hair and makeup remains perfectly in place and the scene will ALWAYS end with simultaneous orgasms (as if).
This creates SEXpectations.
Porn is everywhere and these days it’s not $90 for a DVD; men receive their fix through free sites such as redtube.com and women are buying their porn (erotic novels) for less than $5 in the bargain bin at Big W. Firstly for men this gives a completely unrealistic view of women and what gets us off – trust me the positions porn-stars get themselves into would not only kill our thighs but provide winces of pain over screams of ecstasy. And the erotic novels women use as their porn? Basically they just make us hate men, why can’t men ‘undress us with their eyes’ or ‘spend the entire night making love to us’. Pft as if! Do these people not have jobs? Are the guys overdosing on Viagra? AND all I can say about the women that ‘do it all night long’ is that they certainly must be immune to any sort of friction.
The media sexualizes everything from articles in women’s magazines about ‘giving the perfect blow job’ to advertisements about carpet cleaners. Look around you – we are exposed to over 2000 advertising media messages per day and the majority of them allude to sex in some way shape or form.
On top of all this (much to our grandparent’s horror) we discuss sex in so much depth and detail with EVERYONE that we are all in a heightened sense of comparison which causes underlying questions and aggravation with our partner. After all “SHE said that her boyfriend massaged her and pleased her for two hours last night, and you told me to clean the toilet” or “well theyyyyy are having sex this amount of times a week and we are only doing it this many times”. Then on the other side of the city you have the friend you were referring to with the shits because “once again her boyfriend is demanding sex” and her friends boyfriends waits till they want to do it.
Its exhausting really.
If we never talked about it we wouldn’t have anything to compare it to – then there would be no such thing as a normal and healthy sex life. Because really what is a normal and healthy sex life? The answer is THERE ISN’T ONE!! Each and every couple is different. Who decided that a couple that only have sex once a month aren’t very happy together or that the couple having S&M sex every night were nymphomaniac’s . THERE IS NO ‘NORMAL’.
If the media stooped capitalizing on sexual saturation, porn ceased to exist and no one was aloud to discuss sex I CAN guarantee breakups and divorce rates would be lower.
Why? No Sexpections.
I know that this will never happen and I am a THE BIGGEST culprit in abusing my boyfriend for lack of massages, reading trashy chick lit and looking at sexy men in advertisements. Not to mention the countless hours I have spent discussing the most intimate details of sex with my girlfriends.
However if we can all try to lower our sexpectation and take things as they are– we will all have happier relationships and be happier in general.
Let’s get rid of our SEXPECTATIONS.
Have a great weekend everyone!