Love That Red

Everything You Need to Know

WARNING – Health Crisis

I got a massive wakeup call yesterday when my trainer told me that  a) my thighs were getting big and b) my health is appalling. At 21 I am APPARENTLY supposed to be sleeping well, maintaining an excellent metabolism and buzzing with so much energy I could run a 50km marathon……

I think not.

It’s finally time I took control of my health and in my typically fashion, take control by the balls.

So if you commit or suffer any of the following, you may want to re-evaluate your health WITH ME;

  • Consumption of energy drinks
  • Forgetting to eat sometimes
  • Greasy hangover food
  • Eating whatever you want all the time and then 5 days before an important ‘figure-hugging-dress’ event going cold turkey on all foods groups besides water and celery
  • Binge drinking
  • Social smoking
  • Choosing the TV over exercise
  • 4am Kebabs
  • The irrevocable food choices made with a VERY sweet tooth
  • Eating wayyyyy to many carbs and too little protein
  • Thinking that sugar free varieties are healthy
  • Subsiding on 6 hours of sleep per night during the week then sleeping in till 11am on a Sunday
  • Feeling tired all the time
  • Prone to breakouts
  • Water retention
  • Irregular erm bowel movements…………………………

I don’t know about you but the above pretty much sums up my life, once an energetic little bumble bee I now find myself almost 4 years after finishing high school with an added 10 kilos (yes TEN) stuck to my ass, a drinking problem, less energy than my 83 year old grandfather and the eating habits of a 3 year old child.

Problem One

Do not ask me HOW on earth I gained that much weight as I really have no idea. LUCKILY I was quite thin so the 10 kilos has kept me at a nice size 10 or under but damn do I miss those skinny little pins. I do not think that I need to lose 10 kilos as I will never have the same figure as I did when I was 18 (wouldn’t want to really) but I do think it’s time about 5 of those pesky kilos were removed from what my beloved friends have named ‘ my jelly ass’ . (Assholes)

Problem Two

Ahh the issue with alcohol…well to be completely honest I’m not going to give it up. I can’t stand those self righteous bores who go out then sit in the corner anti-socially with a Sprite in hand – tossers. My aim is to perhaps LESSON the amount to only slight inebriation rather than the ‘I have no idea what happened last night’ drunken forte I usually bestow upon myself.

Problem Three

The non-existent energy levels, a typical day will have me cursing my SATC themed alarm tone and yawning consistently before I finally drag myself out of bed and into the car. Yawning the entire way to work I am grumpily considering once again whether or not to become a bum so I never have to get up before 10. Upon my arrival at work no productivity will   transpire until I have guzzled my first energy drink. At the usual slump time of 11am I will sip my second slowly and hope that the buzz lasts till the end of the day. Upon arriving home I perch myself in front of my laptop/TV or a book and promptly go to sleep any time after 9pm.

Problem Four

The eating habits – they constantly cause amazement to the majority of people I meet and friends/family. I constantly get the question what do I eat? You can see why people ask this question as; I don’t eat ANY meat, I hate weird vegetables like eggplant and mushrooms, I hate eggs and I can’t eat many different meals or foods due to having a weird phobia about different textures of foods. ON TOP OF THIS I am gluten and lactose intolerant……..yep it’s quite a pickle.

I also can be quite forgetful and ‘forget’ to eat sometimes when I’m really busy – not good as once I realise this has happened I consume a family size pack of lollies in justification that my body ‘ needs’ it. HA

Ok so my aims are:

Food


  • Upon awakening one shot of liquid chlorophyll (vegetable extract) with multivitamins
  • Breakfast – Ground nut mix, pumpkin seeds, fruit and yogurt
  • Lunch – Brown rice with beans, cottage cheese and vegetables
  • Dinner – HEALTHY MEALS e.g Lentil burger patties on RYE bread with salad or vegetable soup
  • Snacks – Air-popped popcorn/nuts/fruit

Exercise


  • 1 – Group Personal Training session a week
  • 1 – 45 minute swim per week
  • 1 – 1 hour w/o per week
  • 1 –  group fitness class per week

I am going to do this MON-FRI to ease on into it.

My goals are;

  • Lose 3 kilos before the end of July
  • Have more energy
  • Be ‘regular’
  • Clearer skin and less bloated
  • Quality sleep in which I wake up feeling refreshed and energized

Just because its winter doesn’t mean we have to dig ourselves into a little hole and hibernate with baked dinners for 3 months. Feeling unhealthy and sluggish like me? Set some goals and work on achieving them!

Let’s get ourselves in tip top HEALTH (and try our hardest to stick it out)

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5 thoughts on “WARNING – Health Crisis

  1. hahaha!! noooo… your nickname is ‘smelly ass jelly ass’ 😉 and i actually think its only me that calls u that..

  2. Jessi Blaze on said:

    This makes me want to exercise. haha!!

  3. Dominic on said:

    Everyone puts on 10 kilos after high school. Some people put on more, but 10 is the bare minimum! (i tell this to myself to justify my post-study weight ha ha ha)

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