20 VS 30
If there is one thing in society today that gets on my nerves it’s a societal act which has been carried out for hundreds of years; one that no doubt I will be inflicting upon others once my time has arrived – that is ‘the wrath of the thirty something know-it-all’.
You know the type – they lurk in friendly corners with their perfectly polished hair and nose turned up so high, all their daily correspondents have the ability to see last year’s flu leftovers.
They are a MASSIVE pest.
Common occurrences involving the ‘thirty something know-it-all’.
- The bitchy references to our diets “oh do you know how many chemicals are in that slice of cake” – we know you secretly mean calories and the only reason you’re not digging in as well is because the big 30 is also the year that wobbles become permanently fixated onto your ass whereas previously they were easily removed with a few runs per week.
- The flaunting of various labeled designer bags and dresses with the added innuendos that everything we buy is squalor. The only thing I can say is that clearly we would be buying designer handbags if we could afford them and you thirty something know-it-alls are just jealous that you can’t pull of a top-shop shirt, glebe markets jacket and $50 Myers skirt without looking like a Miley Cyrus wannabe.
- The “oh you’re so young and naive” line, teamed with a big roll of the eyes, sigh and pitying smile. HA. Yes we are; thus it is perfectly acceptable for us to make massive mistakes, waste our money and get super drunk – what’s your excuse?
- The remarks about not treating our skin properly, hair properly and body properly – Again just jealous as they have to spend thousands of dollars on Personal Trainers and Crème de La Mer eye contour creams in a futile attempt to control the prevailing fine lines, varicose veins, cellulite and spare tire trapped to their gut.
And finally my most HATED ‘thirty something know-it-all’ line of all –
- “There is such a big difference between 20 and 30”……..cue their haughty expression and ‘I’m so much better’ attitude. WELL DER! You idiot, we are well aware of that and that does not mean that you are better than us just because you have a wardrobe filled with Dolce not Diva. Of course there is a big difference. You are (most probably) married with a screaming brat in tow, a hefty mortgage and the highlight of your week is a ‘the very exciting dinner party’ in your very boring but very elaborate dinning room. Whereas we on the other hand are enjoying copious amounts of ‘nights on the town’, endless streams of male admirers, the ability to consumer outrageous portions of food and a guilt free factor in blowing $1000 on a pair of shoes.
All this aside the truly beautiful thing about being in your thirties IS KNOWING BETTER, and understanding what your limits are from alcohol to the length of a mini-skirt. All 20 something women are aware of this we just don’t like having you look down at us about the same things you were probably doing in your 20’s! The truly beautiful 30 something year olds are those that give advice when needed, KINDLY bestow their wisdom and still enjoy the occasion cheeky glass (or 5) of wine.