Love That Red

Everything You Need to Know


They say that the grass is always greener on the other side… well that statement is certainly true when it come to a certain (well 2 certain) body parts on the female form – our breasts. Or boobies if you’re feeling cute.

Boobs are a much discussed point of conversation in many of my social circles; some of my girlfriends have such lush, bountiful breasts that I cant help but burry my head in between them as soon as I’ve had a few glasses of champers. Others have perky little b-cup boobies with nipples that point sky-high or nips that seem to grow astronomical lengths as the weather gets chilly.

I have size 10A nubs and on Saturday night my male friends were telling people I was their (male) ‘gay-friend’  (thus the leotard) due to my side-on appearance that resembled an ironing board.

Not good.

I’ve tried everything to help myself ‘appear’ more womanly and sexier; chicken fillets, push-up bras, 3 bras, gaining weight, different multi-vitamins that ‘promise bigger mammary glands’ and even countless push-ups in a desperate attempt to at least increase the size of the muscle under the little pocket of boobie flesh.

I know I KNOW. I can hear you all muttering at me to stop winging and to just buy myself a pair. Well FYI I’m not one of those stupid girls that borrows money for a boob-job (quite possibly the dumbest thing I think a human being could commit) also I have the saving willpower of a seven year old in a candy store… soooooo I cant can I. Unless one of you dear readers plans to buy me a pair for x-mas? Full C please.

Some of my friends with big breast LOVE them, they play with them constantly, rub them in our jealous faces (literally) and enjoy flaunting them to their much appreciated boyfriends.

Then again as ‘the grass is always greener’ I do know some girls who HATE their breasts (idiots I know), they dream of small little nubs like mine that apparently are a lot easier to buy for, run around in etc.


For the time being I am stuck with my ‘gay-man’ chest and on the plus side I can pretty much wear anything and I never have to wear a bra which suits me JUST fine!

The End.


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