Love That Red

Everything You Need to Know

A Little to Much Christmas ‘Cheer’

 

I am from a small beach town and my father runs the local ambulance station there; Christmas Eve is BY FAR his most HATED night of the year.

What starts as a few cheeky celebratory drinks at the local pub ‘The Bellevue’ ultimately turns into a girl found at a beach passed out with her undies around her ankles, a few house calls to the druggies on psychotic episodes and an abundance of 18 year old girls lying outside the Bellevue still under the notion that its ‘super cool’ to be doing so.

Oh and don’t forget the copious amounts of males who think its appropriate to rile up and punch each other after 16 VB’s. (This generally happens when you put men together who all have IQ’s of about -10.

 

All over NSW, actually all over Australia, people will begin the process of writing themselves of this afternoon as soon as they step that blissful first step away from work on the intended early mark.

I’ve never gotten it really…. this will be the 4th year I’m ‘aloud’ to go to one of these things and I’ve totes only ever been once AND that’s not going to change this year.

Why?

I have an inner child who still enjoys waking up at 5am to go and feel Santa’s sack (whoa THAT didn’t sound wrong). I then like to spend the day running about and there is no way in hell I want to do this hungover.

Add to that that, I perpetually HATE ‘small talk’ and although the idea of running into 1000’s of people I know at the local pub seems appealing in terms of catching up I cannot stand the small talk that becomes a pre-requisite.

Hiiiiiiiiiiii – OMG you look soooooo good – WOW hot shoes! * Leans in for ‘ass out’ hug and presses cheeks together* – soooooo how’s uniiiiiiiii? – Oh cooool are you still enjoying work *thinking what the f does she do again* – and how’s your boooooyfrined? – Oh that’s to bad, don’t worry though, probs an asshole and there’s plenty more fish in the sea!!! – How crap is the weather hmmmmmm. Yeah I’m well, just freelance writing… – Huh? – No *thinking idiot*- I finished uni over a year ago… – yes yes well it seems we are both doing well! – All right, love yaaaaa! Speak later!

 

oHHHHHH HIIIIIIIiiiii…..

Uggggg uggg yuk bleuarrrg

I cannot STAND it!!!! Everyone who knows me is well aware that I like to talk about the following F’s. Food, Fashion and Funny shit. I also like to discuss travel, politics, celeb gossip, beauty news, career moves, sex and regaling takes about hilarious nights out. Anything else is pretentious and idiotic because really unless we live under a rock we will all be VERY aware of what the person who we are playing dumb with is doing because we are inundated with her status updates and pics every time we log on to good old FB!

 

Anyway whatever your Christmas Eve plans – from light looking and an early night to intense stages of inebriation – have fun.

I will be sipping on champagne with my family in the pool and playing with my puppy before I am forced to attend (kicking and screaming) an 11:30 mass – joy. *Note the sarcasm

 

Wwweeeeee one sleep!

 

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