Love That Red

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Living Lost


Over the weekend I attended my grandmas 80th with the rest of my family and extended family… aka a reunion of sorts.

My family paraded my successful boyfriend around like the prized trophy he is, introducing them to my Nan’s friends, drawing him in to in-depth discussions about his much-loved job (which he’s widely successful at), his 2 owned properties and his other business ventures. All the while marveling at his well-presented handsome good looks, easy ability to converse with people and genuine love of life which rubs of onto all those around him.


And then there’s me.


The embarrassment. The one who although she can apply false lashes like a pro is as worthy of bragging and praise as a naughty toddler.

The one whose only investments are her extensive box-set collections and back issues of vogue. The one who wills away her days glued to her laptop with little human contact as she desperately try’s to figure out what she wants from life.

The one who seems to scowl a lot, drinks like a fish and thinks it’s appropriate to tell fart joke and sing loudly in public.

Yep that’s me – the family embarrassment. I think most of my relos would prefer it if my bf attended these things MINUS me. At least then they wouldn’t have to warmly wish him well in *insert numerous things that make him so wonderful* then awkwardly pat me on my shoulder wishing me well in erm…well whatever I decide to do.

Or there’s my parents who can gladly show him off to all the other relos who don’t really like THEIR children’s bf/gf and glare jealously at my parents obvious love for my bf who even in their eyes is “too good for me”. (No joke my father did actually say that once.) All the while trying to ignore the girl wearing a strange leopard print outfit, playing cars with the 2 year old in the corner.


Yep that’s me. The sad 22 year old with nothing but a string of sarcastic articles to her name.


I used to think that it was ok not to know what you wanted from life. To be as lost as kitten in a jungle. I thought ‘no one ever knows what they want’. Well apparently I was wrong. I only need to log-on to facebook to see the latest person getting engaged, married or knocked up. Chat to people to hear how much they love their course or job and want to be doing exactly the same thing 5 years down the track. Have their flight booked for their Europe trip in 6 months time. Or putting $400 per week aside for the down payment on their first home.


But that’s what I’m asking you dear readers. Are you lost like me with no idea what you want from life? Or do you know EXACTLY what you want?






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2 thoughts on “Living Lost

  1. Darling I didn’t know until 28 what I wanted to do. However when I did know/find out or decide, I put everything into it. Now at 50 I am so lost like you I don’t know what I want from life/career anymore. BC life was good AC I don’t know anymore. Don’t dispair something will happen to help you along the way. Also I don’t see your relationship as you do. You are my beautiful girl and always will be. xx

  2. I am the other way- I have always known EXACTLY what I want to do /be but then there is the frustration in not achieving it! So I believe you are in a great position in not knowing because you have the freedom of choice and you also have time because you are only 22!! don’t stress – and BTW you are selling yourself short you were the life of the party and my main entertainment all weekend!!

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