SH*T! My Body Says
So I’ve ignored my blog again with no warning 😦 and I am sorry. Reason being that I have been pretty darn ill. And I admit this quite shamefaced, as we all know that I like to bang on about what a picture of health I am all the time. Idiot.
It all began last Wednesday mid afternoon when I started having regurgitation episodes at a half hour frequency in the bathroom. I thought it was simply something I had eaten for lunch and laughed of suggestions that my colleague should call an ambulance as I rocked in the foetal position on dirty dirty work floor waiting for the next onset of expelling to hit.
Then (being the trooper that I am) I scoffed at suggestions I should go straight home and tramped up George street to Shangri La’s famous Level 36 bar that overlooks the city.
Upon arrival my incessant needs to go to the bathroom increased and my poor old friend had to sit with me for almost a full hour as I repeatedly left her to rush to the bathroom, whilst refusing to leave. I wanted a catch-up damn it!! How the poor girl didn’t move to another table and pretend I was some crazy lady is beyond me as the smell and sight (think bright red eyes, askew hair, rumpled clothing, blotchy washed out skin) of me resembled something the cat has been stewing in its tummy with a fur ball for a few months.
As I yet again hurried of to the bathroom I proceeded to pass out after an episode only to be jolted out of it as blessed oldie came in (calling me dearie of course) who then went and got my dear friend. (Who happens to look like Eva Mendes which was not good for my ‘I look like a fur ball’ esteem…. not that I cared at the time.) I informed her that Jarrod should come up (he was picking me up) and carry me down stairs as every time I stood I fainted.
Well at this point there’s a small stampede of people all wanting ‘in on the action’ as I lie on one of Sydney’s most exclusive and expensive hotel floors with little puddles of myself lying everywhere. Not good.
The security and hotel staff arrived and offer kind yet totally unappreciated jokes after they establish that I am not in fact just a drunk idiot and this incident isn’t alcohol related. (Hey there’s a first time for everything.) Anyway the short story of what happened next is that (the long episode involves halted elevators, more curious spectators, more ‘me’ puddles etc) Jarrod arrived and agreed that an ambulance should be called – this is while I’m apparently lying in said elevator, slipping in and out of consciousness with a face colour so green and white it was almost comical.
The ambulance arrived and they whisked me away quickly but the wretches continuously attempted to poke me with needles (my biggest fear) so I feebly swatted them away the jerks. Does the slogan ‘No means No’ mean nothing to you people. Same thing once I had arrived at the hospital but its probably best that they did considering it pretty much saved my life (ok that’s melodramatic I know but my sweet little BP was only 50/30 so I was on my way :(). Plenty of blood tests ensued and hours and many IV drips baggie things later (oh and more voms) I found out I had acute Gastroenteritis and some other virus I forgottstod the name of…both of which led to severe dehydration.
Anyway I’ve been bed ridden since I got home Thursday morning and I now have a lovely flu to boot! (Thanks Mr. Immune, you’re a real gem)
So I’ve just writer 600 words about why I haven’t been blogging and look I’ve even got a pic to prove it! HA!…..
Yeah so not showing it. I look like the chick from the Exorcist.
Suffice to say I will be blogging more from now 🙂 Oh and I also will never show my face at Sydney’s Shangri La again. No matter how good that Lychee Bellini smelt…
BTW ! Please excuse what I am sure is a post that has numerous (well more than usual) spelling mistakes or simply doesn’t make sense. I still feel exceptionally shoddy.