Laser Eye Surgery: An ACTUAL Review
Up until about 18 months ago, my life was literally a blur. Without the help of cute (and some not-so-cute) specs or as I got older contacts, I wasn’t able to function in public. Yes I was THAT vision impaired.
Medically I was considered actually blind – which sucked as you can imagine.
So from a young age my parents promised to fork out the ridiculous amount (your looking at roughly $6000 for laser surgery) for my 21st birthday.
They kept that promise.
People are fascinated by laser eye surgery (vision impaired people obviously – those with perfect sight are about as interested as I am about sports) and I constantly get asked a lot of questions about it.
How I wish I had asked questions and researched into the procedure before I had it done.
Why? Because like with any form of surgery you should always be prepared and understand exactly what’s going to happen. I was an immature idiot who thought it was a simple case of having a few lights shone into my eyes. Stupid girl.
To put it bluntly – My eyes were raped. The surgery was the most horrific and torturous thing I have ever undergone. And the invasiveness of it made a pap smear seem like getting a bunch of lilies.
The first thing they do is get you to fill out the forms and ‘try’ to relax. They then offer you 1 valium (what 1 is meant to do to someone with extremely high tolerance levels is beyond me.)
I then had to go into procedure room 1, where they lay you under numerous machines and use an instrument that pushes your eyes flat (this is on par with feeling like someone is pushing your eyeballs into your skull). When the cornea is flat you instantly become blind for approx 15mins – actually blind as in you can only see black.
Horrific is an understatement when you aren’t expecting this. I then had to sit in a room (sobbing) and wait till I got a percentage of my vision back.
Note: The asshole that did mine actually yelled at me because I couldn’t stop crying. WTF! I am a 21 year old female, paying you $6000 for a surgery I (stupidly) new nothing about. I m contributing for your wife’s new Hermes bag you dick. SHOW SOME F-ING COMPASSION!
Next step is procedure room 2, SOME vision is returned but everything is exceptionally dark and blurry. You then lie back under the brightest lights in the history of the world and WATCH as a scalpel and needles come to cut open and pull back the eye flap.
Very ‘hostel’ grade torture agreed?
They then use the lasers, which literally burn your retinas so that you can feel, hear and SMELL the burring.
All the while I was 100% alert, I would have gotton more effect from 1 Breezer than the Valium and that is saying something.
You then are even some cool ‘goggles’ to wear alone with a hat and are blindly escorted back to the waiting room and sent of home.
Cue a few days of panadine forte worthy pain, the sorest, itchiest, most uncomfortable eyes and a generally FML outlook.
For the first few months afterwards my eyes were EXTREMELY dry, on par with a town in drought. I was inserting drops, gels and creams into them a few times a day to try to keep the itchiness (a dry symptom) at bay.
Now? My vision is perfect. I can see everything and its FAB! Last year I went snorkelling and didn’t have to worry about my contacts becoming dis-lodged underwater. I could see and play with all the fishes! Glasses never ruin outfits and I can do crazy eye makeup without red-eye/broken contact syndrome.
So yes it is awesome that I can see but I still don’t know if it was worth it….
I guess if you are prepared (by reading this:) ) you will know what to expect and there wont be any vile surprises.
Oh and I totes forgot to mention the contraption used to hold your eyes apart the entire time. Nightmare.
Have you had laser eye surgery? Would you get it?