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There Is Nothing Fat About A Size Ten

Fifi Box is one of my favourite media personalities; she’s delightful, honest, DTE (down-to-earth) and most importantly to me (in order to be considered ‘my type of gal’) incredibly funny. Although I often don’t get to hear her anecdotes on-air (she is part of the Today FM MON-THURS arvo duo), I look forward to her column in the Sunday Telegraph Magazine like a fat kid looks forward to his next dip in the cookie jar. Usually her self-depreciation infused accounts of her life actually make me burst into laughter over the candid truth to how relevant she is when revealing how she felt about something. One of my all time fave ‘Box Sagas’ was her rendition of the time Patrick Dempsey entered the sauna that she was in while she awkwardly lay naked near him sweating profusely.

But her article yesterday ‘I Won’t Starve In The Name Of Size Zero’ sat very well with me, as an article about her hatred of diets and why she cant stand it when her friends diet. The greatest line in her column was where she stated that ‘people who limit their food intake to diet shakes in the name of size-zero jeans probably can’t afford to restrict the amount of nutrients reaching their brain’.

HA. So true Fifi, so true. 🙂

She then went on to explain how this silly friend of hers actually asks her NOT to order things that she wants in case she is ‘tempted’. Grrrr. Nothing is more annoying than a friend who wants YOU to diet just because she needs help with her idiocy.

 Other annoying ‘girl-related’ eating habits;

  • When you are in a group and everyone but you wants to order grilled salmon and limp lettuce leaves and all you want is a groaning big fat burger. The awkward moment when you realise it would DEFS not be socially acceptable to inhale said burger while your miniscule friends nibble on their rotting fish.
  • The awkward moment when you DO order the side of fries and your friends all deem it acceptable to ‘just have a few’ (because apparently if you didn’t order it the calories don’t count). Cue fire steaming from your ears as your left with a few measly limp old greasy chips lurking in your bowl. Friends note: We fry orderer’s will not be held accountable for stabbing your greedy fingers with our brandishing fork.
  • When someone doesn’t eat ANYTHING at all because anorexia is totes cool (not). Friendships cannot withstand a food lover vs. a food hater. Nothing makes us enjoy food less like a gal sipping on her iced water as she dutifully tells you (not that you asked) why carbs are the devil. (In actually fact a certain Atkins IS the devil and is currently laughing evilly as he sucks the life AKA beauty of all the carbs from the mouths of more size-zero hopefuls).
  • When your girlfriend calls another girl obese who is clearly smaller than you are and you wonder what the f she calls you. Worse is when you are naked and she looks at herself with disgust and pinches non-existent fat calling herself a fat ugly mole. Your thighs are double hers and you wonder what on earth is wrong with her head. Especially if you are anything like me and gaze at your big booty with love wondering why anyone would want a small one…. or is that just me?             `

So I guess this is a message from both Fifi herself and yours truly. Ladies, don’t drag us down with your diets. Some gals love food in all of its glory and some girls don’t WANT to be model thin. Just because you don’t want the bread sticks doesn’t mean WE should go without. And just because YOU find your calorie intake (or lack thereof) fascinating does not mean we do.

Oh and to every one of my friends who has said this and to any girl who has said this in general. I just want to clarify. There is nothing fat about a size ten.

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One thought on “There Is Nothing Fat About A Size Ten

  1. I don’t see how it is anybody’s problem other than yours if everyone else wants to eat grilled salmon and you want a burger. Why don’t you just get it? You wouldn’t expect them to eat a burger just because you are and I am sure most people wouldn’t expect the same of you.

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