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The High School Reunion

So one of my friends has an upcoming 5-year high school reunion to attend, and it got me thinking how I couldn’t think of a worse event.

Seriously, I don’t think I would attend mine (if there was one) if I was paid too.

Why not you may ask????


The whole notion of a high school reunion is anything but relevant in this day and age of social media, if not completely obsolete.

The fact that we live in this digitally saturated world makes the concept of a reunion even more falsified with an added air of pretence when you accept that you are well aware of what your old school friends are doing in both there personal and professional lives, down to the finesse of exactly which beach they were at last weekend thanks to a few little things called Facebook, Twitter and more recently the delight that is instagram.

I have always maintained that if I was ever invited to a school reunion I wouldn’t go as I honestly believe its simply an event designed to spur people back to their high school selves, show off, exaggerate/blatantly lie about how wonderful their life is (anyone remember Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion?), and catch up AKA brag to each other on information we already secretly know thanks to Sunday arvo stalk sessions or couldn’t give a rats bum about.

You see, there is a REASON we don’t keep in touch with certain people; high school is the only time when you are forced into social situations where you mostly have to get along and spend time with people you don’t care for. Those you do, YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH!

I can picture exactly how a reunion would go; (and 5 or 25 years I don’t think it makes a difference as my Mum recently went to hers.)

  • First there’s the ‘do I or don’t I go’ internal debate where you pro and con the idea of attending. Am I successful enough? Do I want/care about people knowing who I am now?
  • Then there are the few months of prep as you try to lose weight, find the perfect dress and have every inch of your body buffed and pummelled to a flawless canvas of youth and vitality.
  • There’s the nervous (and totally juvenile, superficial and immature) apprehension at seeing certain people.
  • There’s the self-righteous and totally ridiculous feelings of superiority as your high school bf (who dumped you) gives you a double take on entrance and after too many Bundaberg’s slurs how much of an idiot he was; or the class nerd, who is still at uni and still as big a bitch as ever; or how the OTHER ex is actually married to (inner monologue trailer trash) that ratty local girl with their kid swinging from her tit; or how some people haven’t even left that shit town (even though they probably OWN their house with a mortgage that resembles my weekly rent cheque)…..

The truth is that NOBODY has chosen the ‘right’ path; there is no right path. That’s the beauty of life, that you can design your own adaptation of it. When it comes to the thick of it, it’s the people that are happy that have succeeded the most. Because while no amount of money, career success, travelling or spouse choice makes someone better than the other; the happier person is the one that I would be envying or want to be envied because of.

But it’s all THIS (read above) bullshit that reasons me why I hate the concept of a High School Reunion. High school ended in 2006, the aim is to leave high school (and all the shit that comes with it) IN 2006.  No point revisiting for one night, it doesn’t matter how much time has past, our inner high school bitchy queens are just waiting to be re-released; and put in the right situation, those under-developed personalities and cliques go right back to where they were left at grad.


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