Uncover The Language Of Lurrrveee
*ever so slightly vom a little bit
The 5 Love Languages is an awesome book by Gary Chapman that some happily coupled-up peeps swear by. They vouch that THIS wee little wordsmith Gaz, has uncovered the secret to successful long-term relationships…
So what are the 5 love languages?
- Acts Of Service
- WORDS Of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Essentially, everyone speaks a different love language, and the book hypothesises that if you learn to speak your partners primary love language, you are destined to a happy life together.
I think this is a very interesting yet simple way to look at relationships and to a certain extent I agree with the author.
Now although I think a successful relationship embodies all of these 5 ‘love languages’, I do agree that there are one or two that resonate closer to different people in terms of how loved someone feels.
Acts of service is my love language, nothing makes me feel more special, loved or appreciated than when someone does something nice for me.
Whether its leaving me a covered meal in the fridge with a cute note, an unexpected sweet text, or a surprise picnic somewhere; I am a total sucker for any act of service.
Because of this, those I love often receive this love language as if it were THEIR primary language. I think this is what most people do which is why no relationship will ever be perfect. Take my sister for example; her primary love language is physical affection and secondary is words of affirmation. So she is constantly nuzzling those around her and repeatedly telling them that she loves them. Now although this is endearing, for someone who speaks the love language of physical touch very rarely, it can be ever so slightly overwhelming and smothering at times.
So my point is that I show my love through acts of service; I pick things up when I’m shopping that I think loved ones will like for no reason, I send sweet messages at odd, unexpected points in time, I cook and clean, I surprise people with things and I love to perform random acts of kindness. And then I get immensely frustrated when these acts are not reciprocated because they are what I speak in this love language. With me a random message, a good giggle, or an ice-cold redbull gets people many more brownie points than stupid spoon sessions.
With my girlfriends, they are all different…
One DEFINITELY speaks the love language of gifts. Her bf is all about showering her with gifts and it works because with his constant gift-giving, she is always 100% certain of his love for her. And although gifts aren’t my primary love language, her occasional cuff bangles or lily bouquets ‘just because’ mean the world because I know it’s her way of telling me she loves me.
My other friend is a words of affirmation gal. She tells boys EXTREMELY early in a relationship that she loves them. She is constantly posting about how much she loves her friends on facebook (bless) and is always the first person to send you a lovely text expressing how much you mean to her when something is going wrong. Oh and she literally cries when you reciprocate. Super cute right!?
Another gal in my life is a HUGE physical touch speaker in the language of love. She has on occasion, rang me in hysteria all because her boyfriend didn’t want to have sex with her. She convinces herself that he wants to break up with her and is only calmed down with a bucketload of orgasms and a full hour of close spooning. She loves to cuddle with everyone and I know how much it means to her when I brush her hair away from her eyes as she’s falling asleep because even though I’M NOT a touch girl, I know she loves it.
And then there is the friends that live in their boyfriends pockets. And although this annoys me immensely, it’s the way they show and feel love. By spending a shitload of quality time together. Whereas for me the idea of spending days with just one person (let alone weeks *shudder) makes my gag reflex that little bit weaker.
What is your primary love language and does your partner speak it?
Buy the book here 🙂