It’s only recently that I’ve fully become to appreciate the extent of my Mothers inherent craziness. This has come to light as I discuss old family Easter traditions with friends and colleagues.
Good Friday – The day that for religious people, symbolises the death of Jesus and for non-religious people, symbolises a damn fine time.
Growing up, Good Friday symbolised a day where strict food guidelines (enforced by my nutcase of a mother) were adhered to by my sibling and I, unless we wanted to deal with the wrath that was our mothers screeching as she bellowed that we were getting NO easter eggs. She would then hide the ones already purchased before consuming them after we had all gone to bed I’m guessing.
So the strict food guidelines ruled that we were to eat NOTHING but fish and (wait for it) Hot Cross Buns.
No veggies. No fruit. No nothing. Except fish and buns.
So I write this while shovelling down leftover noodles and smugly think of my father currently consuming yet another bloody hot cross bun for the fifth time today, as they really aren’t that filling and who really wants to eat fish for breakfast (or at all in my opinion).
Does your family have any weird traditions?
Although this story or ‘kelly-ism’ is super SUPER embarrassing, I feel like I should share it, if only to provide you with a giggle for the day.
So a few months ago, my friend encouraged me to download ‘Instagram’ so I could get sweet looking pics like hers. What she failed to mention, (or what I was to stupid to realise) was that it was a social networking app. Not a ‘cool editing app’. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I did indeed fail to realise that people could follow you and view your pics.
Which brings me to the problem. My erm ‘pics’ were in effect, porn. You see I’d begun to take naked pics of myself before ‘instagraming the shit out of them’, in the totally vain persuit that I could one day reflect on said pics with a smug ‘awwww yeah’ attitude.
So there I was, editing compromising pics of myself for WEEKS, before I was fiddling around with the app figuring out the functions, when I came across my ‘followers’.
Yes, indeed I did have several males enjoying my ‘updates’ thoroughly.
Lesson learnt my friends, lesson learnt.
Most people enjoy the end/start of a financial year. Its’ that time to get organised and of course, hopefully have a tidy amount of fresh pocket money deposited neatly into your bank account.
Not me. I HATE tax man time. He is a cheeky bugger intent on making gals like me feel bad about themselves.
In the past financial year I have worked for 6 companies (one of them being my own) and I already feel like sinking my sorry self into some quicksand after receiving just ONE group certificate.
The problem lies with ‘me no likey’ seeing how much money I haven’t saved.
It was just 2 nights ago when
Dad No. 2 Jarrod was looming above me like Mr. Fun Police demanding to know why I didn’t have enough money to pay a fine. (I did BTW I just needed to winge about the fact that I couldn’t spend the money on clothes and alcohol this weekend.) 😦
He then went on to ask quite forcefully how an (apparently) intelligent 23 (I’m 22 you dick!) year old can have no money or assets to her name, and still no direction in her life.
Way to make a girl feel fab huh.
I admit that in the past my budgeting skills aren’t exactly something to be proud of. AND I make it worse by winging a lot.
But still. Dadddddddddd why are you being so mean!
Case In Point: Two weeks ago my pest of a little sister proclaimed that ‘this time next week she was going to be in Paris’ *cue the annoying little sis impersonation voice we ALL do.
I glared at her. Stomped my feet and FML’ed for a while before she rightly pointed out that about 20 trips to Europe are sitting in my closet.
Riggghhhtttt. *Dr Evil voice.
Guess I should work on that.
Hate the movie it was made for but love LOve LOVE this score!
‘The Untold Story’ on the disappearance of Madeleine McCann. I don’t know if you remember this story but I am just ever so slightly obsessed with true crime stories, so this book is a massive treat for my crime hungry brain.
Breakfast At Tiffany’s novella. An ah-maz-ing coffee table book ALL about one of my all-time fave films. It even has the sheet music for theme song ‘Moon River’ inside, something I am intent on learning the next time I find myself perched in front of a piano.
Hangover 2 – Love & Other Drugs (AGAIN) – Oh and this surprisingly good film with Russel Crowe in it ‘The Last 3 Days’ REALLY suspenseful 🙂
A ‘gold’ cuff the size of my head. And someone just asked me if it was real. No joke.
On my head I have been smearing this magical balm by Benefit ‘The POREfessional’ – It literally dissipates pores completely. And pore-less = flaw-less really. Can be used under OR over makeup. RRP $53. Available at Myer.
Baby presents 🙂 One of my besties just had a baby boy. BLESS.
Wanting… A trip to Bali. I want to sit in a tree and eat melon.
Sperms from my balllssshh
My life. Sigh *Emotion grumpy face.
No one 😦 Suggestions?
Some of you may visit my blog for my incessant rambling. However I am guessing that the only people that do are my cat and my Mum. Actually even my Mum doesn’t read them very often so just my cat then.
Nevertheless, most of my dear readers are actually looking for quality content. That as of late is as apparent as specks of cellulite on a certain Ms Kerr’s backside.
This is partly because I have been so busy writing for RESCU.com.au,which is a super fun and fabulous online magazine. (For those of you who live under a digitally sparse rock.) SO if you didn’t keep up with my video interviews/blogs during RAFW, then you must pay a visit to RESCU TV.
Or just catch up on my work by having a read….